Yellow Rosé Of Texas

Nov 8, 2019
Originally published on November 18, 2019 9:24 am

Contestants become sommeliers and imagine what would happen if famous Texas locations became wineries.

Heard on Alejandro Escovedo: Punk Rock Roots In Texas.

Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: From NPR and WNYC, coming to you from the Majestic Theater in Dallas, Texas, it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia, ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.



How fun is this? This is fun.

COULTON: So far, very...

EISENBERG: Dallas...

COULTON: ...Fun.

EISENBERG: ...Very fun, very fun. So we have a great show for you. Oh, my goodness. We have four brilliant contestants. They are going to be up here playing our nerdy games. They're backstage right now. We hope it's going to be Fort Worth their while. And one of them will become our big winner. Yeah. So I learned that Dallas is the birthplace of frozen margaritas...


EISENBERG: ...And Wite-Out.


EISENBERG: What an excellent combination, truly. If only there was Wite-Out for the things that you do after a few frozen margaritas. What about those mistakes? Yeah, so many things started here - 7-Eleven started in Dallas; laser tag, Barney the Dinosaur.


EISENBERG: Are we sure weed's not legal here?


EISENBERG: Or is Dallas just three toddlers in a trenchcoat? Is that what's going on?


EISENBERG: We have an amazing guest for you on our show. We - our special guest is musician Alejandro Escovedo.


EISENBERG: And not only is he amazing, his family's amazing. His niece is Sheila E.


EISENBERG: Yeah. I don't have a joke about that, I just think it's really cool. My nephew is Shane E (ph).


EISENBERG: Sheila E. has played with Prince. Shane E. works at Jiffy Lube.


EISENBERG: It's pretty much the same thing. We have a whole bunch of great games. We have a game about wine descriptions. I'm a bit of a wine snob. I'm not going to lie, people - bit of a wine snob. My favorite wine right now is the one I can reach from my bed.


EISENBERG: I feel like wine just gets a pass because it's classy, right? If someone drinks vodka every night, everybody's worried.


EISENBERG: But someone has a chardonnay every night, and people are like, ooh, they're European (laughter); how sophisticated. And then if you're over 40 and you're that person that's like, let's do shots, everyone's like, their marriage is not good. Their marriage...


EISENBERG: ...Is not good. Something happened there (laughter). Today we're also playing a game about buddy movies. You know, Jonathan and I have been developing a buddy movie. I play a loose-cannon comic, and he plays a guy that's one week away from retirement and doesn't want any of my nonsense.

COULTON: That's right. I'm getting too old for this public radio show.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That's right.


COULTON: It's my catchphrase.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That's your catchphrase. It's called ASK ME ANOTHER, punk.


COULTON: That's right.

EISENBERG: All right. Let's play some games, everybody.


EISENBERG: Our first game is about wine. Remember. A game can only be called a trivia game if it's produced in the trivia game region of France.


EISENBERG: Let's meet our contestants. First up, Alice Zhu - you're a digital ad strategist. So you are behind those spooky ads that end up in my social media that I don't know how they got there.

ALICE ZHU: Yes, absolutely. Yeah.


ZHU: That's me. Sorry.

EISENBERG: Seriously?

ZHU: Yeah.

EISENBERG: How do they get there? Is my phone listening to me? Is that what's going on?

ZHU: It's more like whatever you think about, if you see the ad within four to six business days...


ZHU: That's how you know it's working. That's how you know, you know, the app is really where it needs to be.

EISENBERG: So I should never accept cookies, ever, ever, ever.

ZHU: No, you should definitely just get off the Internet.

EISENBERG: Just get off the Internet.


EISENBERG: Alice, when you ring in, we'll hear this.


EISENBERG: Your opponent is Jeramey Kraatz. You're a writer and have seven books out.



EISENBERG: You have in your possession a very interesting family heirloom. It's your family's hair book.

KRAATZ: It's the hair book, yeah.

EISENBERG: It's the hair book.


KRAATZ: It's a very lovely handmade book that is full of little braids or locks of hair from everyone on my mom's side of the family, dating back to, like, the early 19th century.



EISENBERG: That's crazy.

KRAATZ: It's a really great conversation piece.


EISENBERG: So how - I mean, how many pages of hair...

KRAATZ: Oh, it's...

EISENBERG: ...Are there?

KRAATZ: ...More of a hair binder, really.

EISENBERG: Hair binder, OK.

KRAATZ: Yeah, so...


KRAATZ: ...You know, folder-sized, open it up and you see, ah...

EISENBERG: It's a hair Trapper Keeper?

KRAATZ: It is...


KRAATZ: I mean, if only Lisa Frank could get her hands on this, yeah.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) Fantastic. Jeramey, when you ring in, we'll hear this.


EISENBERG: Alice and Jeramey, whoever has more points after two games will move on to our final round. So every once in a while, one of our game writers pitches us a game that is just so incredibly weird, we just have to do it. And this is one of those games. It's called Yellow Rosé of Texas.


EISENBERG: We imagined - what if famous Texas locations were also wineries? So we are going to give you a description of a signature vintage wine. You are going to ring in and tell us where it would come from. OK. Here we go.

The rotunda rosé has a stately mouth feel with notes of pink granite. You'll know this vintage by its label, which features the Goddess of Liberty holding a sign that reads, keep it weird.



ZHU: The capitol building at Austin, Texas.

EISENBERG: That is correct, yes. The Texas State Capitol building in Austin. Perfect.

COULTON: A wine for the whole family - our amusement port will cause a reverse blast of flavor ending in a shockwave of taste - truly a titan of the wine world - it's now available at 11 locations nationwide - pairs perfectly with a funnel cake and a corndog.



ZHU: The Six Flags Over Texas.

COULTON: Yeah. That's right.


EISENBERG: Open that giant retractable roof, and let this wine breathe. It won a lot of championships in the '90s after all. Our Landry Lambrusco is quite tannic. So it'll dry out your mouth and turn it into a cotton bowl.



ZHU: The Cotton Bowl at the Fair Park - Dallas, Texas.

EISENBERG: No. But I like how you just jammed in as many words in there...


EISENBERG: ...Hoping that some combination...

ZHU: I hoped one of the many...

EISENBERG: (Laughter) Yeah, right.

ZHU: ...Would be right. Yes.

EISENBERG: Exactly. No, that's good. I'm sorry. That is incorrect. Jeramey, can you steal?

KRAATZ: Would that be where the Cowboys play, AT&T Stadium?

EISENBERG: That would be.



EISENBERG: Congratulations. Yes.

COULTON: The Chinati Chianti is dry - high-desert dry - with a minimalist taste inspired by the art installations in this small town. Its opulent flavor profile is a commentary on luxury and consumerism, like the nearby Prada-store sculpture.


COULTON: Jeramey.

KRAATZ: Marfa.

COULTON: Marfa is correct.


EISENBERG: I recently learned that it's not just someone making fun of the name Martha.


EISENBERG: This is your last clue. With grapes coming from 15 miles of orchards, this tree-lined vineyard's house wine, Water Taxi White, boasts a crisp, high note of wafting restaurants smells with undertones of rich, sediment-infused mud.



ZHU: The Riverwalk - San Antonio, Texas.

EISENBERG: That is correct.


EISENBERG: Great game and close game - but Alice is in the lead.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.