Things Debbie Does

Nov 8, 2019
Originally published on November 18, 2019 9:24 am

In this game, every answer is a famous person's first name, a verb and a city.

Heard on Alejandro Escovedo: Punk Rock Roots In Texas.

Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Our next game is inspired by Things Debbie Does.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I can tell you one thing I bet she's never done - the dishes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Let's meet our contestants. First up, Jovane Caamano. You teach in a kid's theater program, and you're a simulated patient actor - I used to do this in Toronto. If you don't know what a simulated patient actor is, is that you are dealing with med students, and you get to pretend to be a patient of all kinds of different sorts...

JOVANE CAAMANO: Yes.

EISENBERG: ...For testing purposes.

CAAMANO: Right.

EISENBERG: And learning purposes. OK.

CAAMANO: Yes.

EISENBERG: So what are some of the - your favorite patient roles?

CAAMANO: I mean, the herpes one is always fun.

(LAUGHTER)

CAAMANO: You can't go wrong. It's an...

EISENBERG: So you...

CAAMANO: ...Insane thing.

EISENBERG: You have to be embarrassed? How do they tell you to structure that character?

CAAMANO: One version we were more nervous and had a difficult time talking about it. Another one we're just outright about it, and seeing how the students respond.

EISENBERG: Yeah. And how do the students respond?

CAAMANO: (Laughter) Pretty consistently. You have the eyes getting big - it was always the first thing you see. And then a - oh, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: That's awesome. Jovane, when you ring in, we will hear this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Your opponent is Gavin Maestas. You program machines used in the mining industry. OK. So what is the most underrated mineral?

GAVIN MAESTAS: I'd have to say lithium.

EISENBERG: Lithium.

MAESTAS: Yeah. I would say - 'cause most of the people that are on it are - they're either up or down, you know. So it's a lot of mixed reviews when it comes to lithium.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That's a good mining industry joke, I bet, right?

MAESTAS: Oh, yeah.

EISENBERG: That's a good one. Gavin, when you ring in, we'll hear this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Remember, Jovane and Gavin, whoever has more points after two games will go to our final round. Dallas, your city is in the three-word alliterative title of a very famous movie that only grown-ups are allowed to watch.

MAESTAS: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: So this word game is our attempt to bring some wholesome wordplay to Dallas. Every answer is three words - a famous person's name, a verb and a city. All three words begin with the same letter.

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: For example, if I said the host of ASK ME ANOTHER can't stop gawking at the most populous city in Nebraska, you would answer Ophira ogles Omaha.

EISENBERG: It's true. I love a steak.

COULTON: You do love a steak.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Ring into answer, and here we go.

COULTON: The 2018 Sexiest Man Alive and star of "The Wire" and "Luther" draws pictures for a storybook about the biggest city in Turkey.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Jovane.

CAAMANO: Idris illustrates Istanbul.

COULTON: Yeah, you got it.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Lizzie McGuire gains unauthorized access to computer data in the Vietnamese city formerly known as Saigon.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Gavin.

MAESTAS: Hillary hacks Hanoi.

COULTON: I'm sorry, we cannot accept that. That is not what we're looking for. Jovane, do you know the answer?

CAAMANO: Hillary hacks - (laughter).

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: So far so good.

(LAUGHTER)

CAAMANO: All I got is Hong Kong.

COULTON: We were looking for Hillary hacks Ho Chi Minh City.

CAAMANO: Oh.

(APPLAUSE)

MAESTAS: Oh.

EISENBERG: The pop star formerly known as Posh Spice administers immunizations in the British Columbia city nicknamed Hollywood North.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Jovane.

CAAMANO: Victoria vaccinates in Vancouver.

EISENBERG: Yeah. That's right.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This Food Network regular and syndicated talk show host takes a break and spends all day laying out on the Copacabana Beach.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Jovane.

CAAMANO: Again, I feel like I know two.

(LAUGHTER)

CAAMANO: OK. So Rachael relaxes - that's all I got.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: All right. I have to go over to Gavin. Gavin, do you know the answer?

MAESTAS: I mean, I'll have to thank Jovane for this. But it's going to be Rachael relaxes in Rio.

COULTON: Yeah, that's correct.

MAESTAS: Yeah.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This is your last clue.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: The U.K.'s second female prime minister provokes involuntary laughter through touch in Japan's capital.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Gavin.

MAESTAS: That's going to be Theresa tickles Tokyo.

EISENBERG: Yes.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That might be preferred foreign policy. OK.

CAAMANO: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: Great game. And we have a tie.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: If you purposely failed an eye exam as a child so you could get glasses, you should be on our show. Go to amatickets.org and find out how to be a contestant.

Coming up, Alejandro Escovedo is back to play a fun game about injuries. Also, our final round is about calculators. It's dedicated to all of our high school math teachers who said that we needed to learn mental math because we wouldn't always have access to a calculator. (Laughter) Joke's on you. Joke's on you.

I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.