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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. Also, you can check out our WAIT WAIT Instagram, where our intern Emma Choi lives. Go visit her. She misses you.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

CALEB TAVERDY: Hi there. This is Caleb Taverdy (ph) from Washington, D.C.

SAGAL: Hey. How are you, Caleb?

TAVERDY: I'm doing OK. I actually got my second Pfizer shot today, so...

SAGAL: How are you feeling?

TAVERDY: I actually thought I almost missed this because I did take a nap. And I woke up, and I was like, oh, no. I think (laughter) I missed it.

SAGAL: What do you do there when you're not sleeping?

TAVERDY: So when I'm not sleeping, my day job, I am a Coast Guard officer. And at night, I am a drag performer, podcast host and a slew of other self-employed artistic things.

SAGAL: All right. Rewind a little bit. Rewind a little bit.

FAITH SALIE: We need your name. We need your drag name.

SAGAL: Wait a minute. You're in the Coast Guard, and you are a drag performer.

TAVERDY: That is correct.

SAGAL: All right. What is your drag name?

TAVERDY: My drag name is a Hellluva Time (ph).

BRIAN BABYLON: Hellluva Time sounds like you might slip into, like, some Mae West voice. Like (imitating Mae West) hi, I'm Hellluva Time.

TAVERDY: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Caleb, you're one of those callers who's more interesting than anything we have prepared. But nonetheless, contractually, we are obligated to play our game with you. You, of course, are going to play in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

TAVERDY: Let's do it.

SAGAL: All right. Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: It's where real and desk jockeys join forces. It's a sight which my young kid endorses. My office park perk - I watch mustangs at work. My desk has a view of wild...

TAVERDY: Horses.

SAGAL: Yes, horses. Very good.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Apparently, some companies setting up shop in rural Nevada are trying to attract employees by promising that by working there, you can sometimes see wild horses. Yeah. Forget about benefits. I want horses. Maternity leave? You get horse-ternity leave. It's part of this trend of, like, green offices, places that offer wellness perks like yoga and rock climbing. They're saying, at our company, we're not just co-workers. We sweat on each other.

BABYLON: Peter, is that better than one of those hang in there kitten posters? What's more motivational - a hang in there kitten poster or some majestic steeds?

JOSH GONDELMAN: And over the window, it just says, never say neigh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: From salons, I've been staying away. My real color will now have its say. Not old and exhausted, it's silver and frosted. My hair has grown sexy and...

TAVERDY: Gray?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The pandemic has caused more and more women to ditch the hair dye and let the gray take over. Now it's fashionable. Many women, of course, try to hide their age by coloring their hair, so get ready for a shock. Your grandma? She's old. Men, of course, have been confidently going gray for years at no cost to their sexual appeal. We know them as silver foxes, gray wolves or geriatric millionaires hopefully about to die. But it has been a scarier step for women to go gray because, of course, society is terrible.

So anyway, now that gray hair is stylish, women everywhere are going to want the same results. There will be salons where women can go to get stressed out in hopes it will make them go gray. We have you down for a 30-minute session where a siren goes off while you're on a Zoom with your boss. Did you want to add a screaming child? All right. Here, Caleb, is your last limerick.

KURTIS: About wine, I'm a little defensive 'cause my knowledge is far from extensive. To see if it's nice, I look at the price and I go for the wine that's...

TAVERDY: Expensive?

SAGAL: There you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good. A new study released this week found we liked wine more if we think it's expensive, which makes sense. It's a lot easier than saying we like wine more if its malic acidity is under 5 pH. The researchers gave tasters in the experiment three versions of wine that they were told was either more or less expensive than it really was. And at the end, the subjects overwhelmingly responded, I love you so much, man. The great news - this is great news for your next dinner party. For this special occasion, I thought I'd open this bottle of Five-Buck Chuck.

SALIE: It's just that mouth feel of being ripped off.

SAGAL: It really is (laughter). Bill, how did Caleb do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Caleb got a win, kicking and dragging.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: We had a Hellluva Time, Caleb.

SAGAL: We did.

TAVERDY: Thank you so much, everyone. I appreciate it.

SAGAL: Take care. Good luck.

SALIE: All right, Caleb.

SAGAL: And hopefully, we'll see you on some stage somewhere.

TAVERDY: OK, sounds good.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MONEY")

CARDI B: Money. Money. Money. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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