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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on-air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always just click the Contact Us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

KATHERINE WALKER: Hi, Peter. This is Katherine. I'm calling from Stanford, Calif.

SAGAL: Now, where is Stanford, Calif.? Is that near Stanford University, which is in Palo Alto?

WALKER: Yeah.

SAGAL: Oh, wow. So you're actually at Stanford. Are you in the school there?

WALKER: Yeah. So I graduated with a Ph.D. in chemistry two years ago, but my husband is still in his Ph.D. program.

SAGAL: Oh, really? Do you lord it over him?

WALKER: Not too much (laughter). I do remember when I made my donation to NPR, I made sure it said Dr. on it. But apart from that, we try to keep it on the down low.

SAGAL: I appreciate it. Well, welcome to the show, Katherine. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. You ready to play?

WALKER: Yes.

SAGAL: All right. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: The caffeine in my Coke hits too softly, and espressos are simply too costly. So I'm really quite keen that they're mixed in ground beans 'cause they sell cans of Coke laced with...

WALKER: Coffee?

SAGAL: Yes, coffee.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Coca-Cola has unveiled their new product, Coke With Coffee. Just like the name says, it's Coca-Cola infused with coffee for that refreshing taste of Coke you accidentally poured into that mug with yesterday's coffee. The new product is a great way to destroy your teeth in two ways at once and contains twice as much caffeine as a regular can of Coke. It's sure to bring you out of your afternoon slump and give you the energy you need to bend a crowbar in half and then spend the next nine hours twitching.

YASSIR LESTER: (Laughter).

JESSI KLEIN: Have you ever been interested in taking one thing you like and mixing it with another thing you like to make something you don't like?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: You'll like Coke With Coffee.

SAGAL: And that would've been the Super Bowl ad, too, if they had only gone through with it this year.

KLEIN: Oh, man. I mean, I'm available to just hand these out.

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Extra carbs, I don't want to finagle. With this pint, I'll just eat what I'm able. This garlic and sesame's getting the best of me. Part ice cream, part everything...

WALKER: Bagel?

SAGAL: Yes, bagel.

KURTIS: Bagel is right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Jeni's ice cream new flavor, everything bagel, is the gross new way to make your breath stink and get an ice cream headache at the same time. It's a cream cheese-flavored ice cream seasoned with classic everything bagel spices - sesame seeds, poppy seeds, garlic, onion, some kind of salt that hurts your mouth.

TOM PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: It seems gross, but it really comes together once you top it with hot fudge lox.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I read about this. I will say I had to lie down for an hour. I was so upset.

SAGAL: (Laughter) Really?

KLEIN: It is so upsetting.

PAPA: (Laughter) Nothing like milk coated around your lips and seeds in all of your teeth.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: That sounds like a great date night.

SAGAL: Here...

KLEIN: That actually sounds delightful.

SAGAL: OK. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Of earthiness, there's no more trace in the bottles we packed in this case. The nose has unfurled. It is out of this world since we've taken our wine out to...

WALKER: Oh, out to space.

SAGAL: Yes, space.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Or as I am legally obligated to say it, space.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Two years ago, researchers sent 12 bottles of wine to the space station, and the astronauts were so rude, they sent it back. They wanted to see what space does to the wine aging process, and connoisseurs are excited to pretend they can now taste the difference. It's going to suck when you're, like, out to eat, and your rich friend sees, like, space wine's on the menu and is, like, oh, let's try it. And it turns out when you split the bill, it cost $60 million.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Katherine do on our quiz?

KURTIS: The Ph.D. scored big. All three right.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Katherine.

WALKER: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing. Take care.

WALKER: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF FRANK SINATRA SONG, "FLY ME TO THE MOON") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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