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Panel Questions

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Hari, this week, we learned about Bill Edgar. He's a private investigator in Australia also known as the coffin confessor because for a fee of $10,000, he will do what at your funeral?

HARI KONDABOLU: He will tell everyone a secret that you held your whole life and you never wanted anyone to know. But because you had a little bit of courage in death, you got this guy to tell everybody what you did.

SAGAL: That is exactly right.

KONDABOLU: Oh, really (laughter)?

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: That's...

SAGAL: He...

KONDABOLU: What I said was absurd.

SAGAL: I - but it's a business. It's an absurd business. For that fee, this man will come to your funeral. And at the appropriate moment, he will stand up and say, hello, I have a message from the deceased. This is what he wants you to know. He was originally hired by a guy who was terminally ill, and he said, I want you to come to my funeral, and I want you to stand up and tell my best friend that I know he tried to sleep with my wife. So he went...

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: ...And that's what he did. And apparently, word got around that he had done this on a professional basis, and he's been - he's had steady work ever since from other people who want him to do similar things.

KONDABOLU: (Laughter) Imagine if, like, Jesus did that - if it was just, like, yeah, so I put red food coloring in the water.

(LAUGHTER)

PJ O'ROURKE: You know, in Irish funerals - the Irish funerals, the family does that themselves, so we really don't have to hire...

SAGAL: Yeah, I know. He doesn't have...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But is this something you guys think you might avail yourself of?

KONDABOLU: I don't know about you, Paula, but as a stand-up comic, it's, like, I don't want someone else doing my bit.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, well, I don't want a funeral. I would like to just be eaten by cats. I really would.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, that's what's going to happen, so you're all set.

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).

(SOUNDBITE OF THE GO-GO'S SONG, "OUR LIPS ARE SEALED")

SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists mail in their lies in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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