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Panel Questions

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Tom Papa and Negin Farsad. And here, again, is your host, a man who insists a little Febreze is better than a shower, Peter Sagal.


Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill isn't Elon Musk, but he loves gr-rhymes (ph). It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I just have to tell you one thing Peter.

SAGAL: Please, Paula.

POUNDSTONE: You know, they're hiring people now to make sure that everyone stays socially distanced. Did you know that?

SAGAL: I was not aware of that. Where are they hiring those people?

POUNDSTONE: In New York. They're hiring people to say you need to stay apart. And so I've just been practicing ratting people out. And I just want to - I want to tell the listeners that as we're making WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME right now, we are on Zoom, so all - our heads are all in squares, and we can see each other. And Peter was just touching his face. OK, go ahead, Peter.


SAGAL: Really?


SAGAL: That whole interruption was just to narc on me?

POUNDSTONE: Well, you know what? I don't get to go to theaters and tell my little jokes anymore. And so, yes, I am - that's exactly what - that was an audition tape for my new job.


SAGAL: All right, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Paula, people are so desperate for entertainment during the quarantine that many of them are turning to what?




SAGAL: No, that'll never happen. Nobody's that bored.

PAPA: It's not that bad.


POUNDSTONE: I was kidding. I was kidding. That was crazy. I was just trying to go out there as far as I could.

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Well, this isn't the best of times; it is definitely the worst of times.


SAGAL: Reading what specifically?

POUNDSTONE: Charles Dickens' "A Tale Of Two Cities."

SAGAL: Well, in general, I'll give it to you. The classics.


POUNDSTONE: The classics. I think that's a great idea.

SAGAL: People are turning back to the classics of art and literature.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I like that.

SAGAL: A survey shows that people are reading and listening more and more to classic works of art, like the jazz of Louis Armstrong or early Justin Bieber. The reason...


SAGAL: ...Researchers are citing - other than, of course, we've literally watched everything on Netflix - is that people are now more introspective, and they're longing for time-tested wisdom. Also, that old story about some man pushing a rock up a hill for all time to no purpose really resonates these days.

POUNDSTONE: You know, I listen - I have the audio version - it's unabridged. But I do have an audio version of "Grapes Of Wrath," and I listen to it more as a training film than anything else.

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: If it ever becomes necessary to flee with your meager possessions, you'll ready to go.

POUNDSTONE: Yes, exactly. I want to know exactly how to fold grandma into the back of the truck.


SAGAL: Tom, ELF Beauty Products has released a new line of makeup in collaboration with what other major consumer brand?

PAPA: Cheetos.

SAGAL: No. I'll give you a hint. Would you like flour, corn or eyeshadow?

PAPA: Oh, Chipotle.

SAGAL: Yes, Chipotle.


PAPA: Yes.

SAGAL: ELF Beauty Products has in fact partnered with Chipotle for their new line, and you are going to look so hot, medium or mild. ELF makeup - which is a brand; it's not a concealer for pointy ears - has teamed up with Chipotle for a burrito-inspired collection. It's got eye and lip shades inspired by your favorite foods at Chipotle. Hey, there, beef mouth. Looking good.


SAGAL: Finally, an easy way to get that sexy I'm-a-burrito look.

POUNDSTONE: You know, this just like a makeup - this is like a Bluff story that wouldn't be picked.

PAPA: You're right, exactly (laughter).

SAGAL: Seriously, I...

POUNDSTONE: It just doesn't make any sense. And I would've loved to have been in on the pitch meeting. That's ridiculous.

PAPA: You know, the Chipotle thing kind of makes sense 'cause there's been many times after a late night party where I've woken up with full nachos on my face.


SAGAL: You need to wash it off before you go to bed, Tom. You know that.


ARIANA GRANDE: (Singing) I love it when we make up. Go head, ruin my makeup. I love it when we make up. Go head, ruin my makeup. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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