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The Viral Load

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Negin Farsad, Peter Grosz and Adam Felber. And here again is your host, waving his invitation to join the council to reopen America, Peter Sagal.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill wins his rhyme-time Emmy in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Now it is time, panelists, for a game we like to call...

KURTIS: The Viral Load.

SAGAL: Sometimes, it is hard to get you...

ADAM FELBER: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...The coronavirus news as fast as you may need it because each story must be personally signed by Donald Trump himself.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But we're going to try and throw some questions at you rapid-fire, true-false style. Get yours right, you get a point. Ready to play?

PETER GROSZ: Sure.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go. Peter's up first. Peter, true or false - an Australian doctor says coronavirus may be spreading through farts.

GROSZ: Oh, God. I'm going to say true just for the hell of it.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It's true. Negin, true or false. A U.K. man driving at the speed of 3 miles an hour told police he was staying extra safe to avoid hospitals during the coronavirus crisis.

NEGIN FARSAD: False.

SAGAL: It is false.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man was caught going 130 miles per hour, and he told police he was speeding because, quote, "I thought the faster I went, the less chance I would catch coronavirus."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Peter, true or false - a girlfriend fighting with her boyfriend about their hidden stash of beans told him she would never, quote, "jeopardize their love."

GROSZ: True.

SAGAL: No, false - she said she would never, quote, "jeopardize the beans." Negin, true or false...

FELBER: (Laughter).

SAGAL: More important. Negin, true or false - a man caught with $71,000 worth of cocaine in his car told police it was OK because as a drug dealer, he is an essential worker.

FARSAD: True.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Adam, true or false. In a classic Florida man story, a Tallahassee resident told a reporter pro wrestling should be declared an essential business.

FELBER: True.

SAGAL: That is true. And the Tallahassee resident was the governor of Florida.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

GROSZ: I can't believe that he did that.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: He really did that.

SAGAL: Peter, true or false - after a number of incidents, Maryland police told residents they must wear masks when they walk out to their mailbox.

GROSZ: False - some other funny thing.

SAGAL: False - after...

FELBER: (Laughter).

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Numerous incidents, they told them they must wear pants when they walk out to their mailbox.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I knew it.

SAGAL: Negin, after people criticized his first and second task forces to open the country, the president just named every Republican senator to be on the third one.

FARSAD: False.

SAGAL: Yes, it's false.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He named every Republican senator except Mitt Romney.

GROSZ: (Groaning).

SAGAL: Adam, true or false - social media data finds a sharp uptick in the number of family photos taken during the coronavirus.

FELBER: True.

SAGAL: No, it's false. They found a 384% increase in the number of nude photos taken.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I don't understand the thinking behind that. Oh, I'm stuck in the house. I've got nothing to do, nowhere to go, can't see anybody I know - lower the pants. Take a picture. Send it to people.

FELBER: No, not - especially not with all the weight we've all gained.

FARSAD: I know. Bloated genitals? Why?

GROSZ: That - you know what the bummer is? I had tickets to see that band, Bloated Genitals, the night that they...

(CROSSTALK)

FELBER: They're the best.

GROSZ: That's such a good band.

FELBER: That's a bummer.

FARSAD: Bloated Gene Attells (ph) - why?

GROSZ: (Laughter) Gene Attells.

(SOUNDBITE OF SNOOP DOGG FEAT PHARRELL WILLIAMS SONG, "DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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