Bluff The Listener
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Peter Grosz, Roxanne Roberts and Roy Blount, Jr. And here again is your host at the Eccles Theater in Salt Lake City, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.
Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
ANDREW STOCKWELL-ALPERT: I'm Andrew Stockwell-Alpert. I'm calling from Sudbury, Mass.
SAGAL: Sudbury - I know Sudbury. Near Boston, right?
STOCKWELL-ALPERT: Twenty miles away.
SAGAL: Twenty miles away. And what do you do there?
STOCKWELL-ALPERT: Well, I am a criminal defense lawyer, and I'm the only legally blind trial lawyer in Massachusetts, in fact.
SAGAL: Oh, wow. You're the only legally blind trial lawyer in - that's quite an honor. Congratulations. Let me ask you a question. Just between you and me, what do you think I look like?
STOCKWELL-ALPERT: Well, I've seen you several times because I've gone to the tapings in Tanglewood, so I know that you're bald. I know that you're fit.
SAGAL: You're legally blind, but not blind enough for me to fool you. Well, that is...
SAGAL: ...Frustrating. Well, welcome to the show, Andrew. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Andrew's topic?
KURTIS: It happened at mile eight.
SAGAL: So we all know two things about running. Runners like to tell you about running, and hearing about running is the most boring thing in the world...
SAGAL: ...Especially reading a book written about running that's now out in paperback. But this week...
SAGAL: We heard an actually interesting story about running that happened at mile eight of a particular race. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling you the truth, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
STOCKWELL-ALPERT: Yes. It can't be more of a crapshoot than a criminal jury trial.
SAGAL: That's true, you know? All right. Your first story of an incident in a race comes from Roy Blount, Jr.
ROY BLOUNT JR: Online, you can find a T-shirt that says, Jesus saves. All others take half damage - which I gather is some kind of "Dungeons & Dragons" joke.
BLOUNT JR: Very clever. But what if you were running in a race, and you collapsed and passed out wearing one of those T-shirts? Fortunately, when Tyler Moon (ph), 25, had a real heart attack at mile eight of a 10-mile run in Minneapolis this week, he was wearing a jogging bib on which he had written simply, Jesus saves. And Jesus did. OK. Strictly speaking, it was Hey-zoos (ph)...
SAGAL: ...Jesus Bueno, 43, a nurse who stopped running himself, called an ambulance, performed CPR and saved Moon's life. When Moon came to and was told who had saved him, he said, bless my soul...
BLOUNT JR: ...Or words to that effect.
SAGAL: A man...
SAGAL: ...Wearing a shirt saying Jesus saves collapses at mile eight of a road race and is saved by a man named Jesus. Your next story of run-on sentences comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Frank Rieger (ph) had just one goal for the Chicago marathon this month - finish in five hours or less. He was doing OK until mile eight, when Rieger, an FBI agent who investigates white-collar crime, spotted David Rafael (ph) about 25 feet ahead of him. Placed on the FBI's most-wanted list for tax fraud and money laundering, Rafael was believed to have fled overseas. But there he was running in Nike Vaporfly shoes and Gucci sunglasses.
ROBERTS: A stunned Rieger gave chase, which required him to step up literally. Quote, "I had to go faster, and I made him my pacer. I'll give him this - he's a hell of a runner.
ROBERTS: Rafael crossed the finish line in four hours, 32 minutes with the exhausted Rieger right behind. He was arrested by two policemen that the agent had flagged over and demanded a lawyer and a Gatorade.
ROBERTS: Rieger was honored in Washington this week for capturing one of America's most wanted but seemed the most excited by his athletic feat. Quote, "Chasing Rafael made me beat my personal record by almost 30 minutes"...
ROBERTS: ...He told reporters. So that's some sweet justice.
SAGAL: An FBI agent tracks down a wanted criminal over the course of the Chicago Marathon and sets a PR. Good for him. Your last story of someone on the run comes from Peter Grosz.
PETER GROSZ: Look - if you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment...
GROSZ: Would you capture it? That's the question 700 runners were forced to ask themselves this weekend at the Detroit half-marathon. The 13.1 mile race is popular with locals and is usually a pretty traditional event. People sign up. They run. Their nipples bleed only half as much as they would in a full marathon.
GROSZ: And everyone goes home happy. But this year, the race was held on the birthday of rapper and Detroit native Eminem. And a group of local runners and fans who call themselves the Marshall Marathoners wanted to pay tribute. So when they passed the race's eight mile marker, which just so happened to be at the famous 8 Mile Road that lent its name to Eminem's movie, "8 Mile," they initiated an Eminem-themed flash mob that stopped the marathon dead in its tracks.
GROSZ: They blasted the famous song from that movie, "Lose Yourself," over the massive P.A. system. Then the Marshall Marathoners quickly changed out of their tank tops and skimpy Lycra shorts and got into costume, some donning the iconic Eminem white T-shirt and jeans while others wore outfits that referenced the song's lyrics. There were some Mekhi Phifers, some Pied Pipers and more than a few sweaters covered in mom's spaghetti. And everyone loved it.
GROSZ: Flush with civic pride, the rest of the runners joined in the celebration, and no one even finished the race. Well, no one, that is, except for 55-year-old Douglas Stradly (ph), who didn't even notice when the commotion broke out because he was sucking wind and listening to "Lose Yourself" on a loop on his iPod.
GROSZ: Stradly finished with a time of two hours and 15 minutes - an amazing time for a full marathon, but the slowest winning time in the 73-year history of the Detroit half-marathon.
SAGAL: All right, Andy. So you had, from Roy Blount, Jr., the story of a man who ran a race in a bib that said Jesus Saves. He collapsed and was saved by a man named Jesus; from Roxanne, an FBI agent who ran down his suspect over the course of the Chicago Marathon; or from Peter Grosz, a guy who won the Detroit half within a time of 2:15 because everybody else was stuck at 8 Mile enjoying the music of Eminem. Which of these is the real story of an event at mile eight of a race?
STOCKWELL-ALPERT: I'm going with A because I like the idea of somebody stopping and saving somebody and not winning the marathon because of it.
SAGAL: That's what it is - is a nice sort of good Samaritan angle there. Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to one of the people who was involved in it.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
TYLER MOON: On my race bib, I had the words Jesus saves. And I collapsed, and a man named Jesus saved me.
SAGAL: That was Tyler Moon, who was, in fact, the runner saved by a man named Jesus, or Hey-zoos (ph). Congratulations, Andrew. You got it right. You earned a point for Roy Blount, Jr. for telling the truth. And you've won our prize - the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing.
STOCKWELL-ALPERT: Wonderful. Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "JESUS IS JUST ALRIGHT")
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS: (Singing) Jesus is just alright with me. Jesus is just alright, oh, yeah. Jesus is just alright with me. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.