BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! - the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Peter Grosz, Adam Felber and Roxanne Roberts. And here, again, is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: In just a minute...
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill corrects you. It's not gypsy, it's rhyma (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, an Alabama man currently wanted for drug possession in a...
PETER GROSZ: Roy Moore.
SAGAL: An Alabama man currently wanted for drug possession and other charges insists that despite reports you've heard, he never, ever, ever gave crystal meth...
SAGAL: ...To his what?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Oh, oh...
GROSZ: To his what?
SAGAL: To his what?
ROBERTS: Oh, oh...
ROBERTS: ...Best story of the week.
ROBERTS: I love this story.
GROSZ: I'm going to give five quick guesses.
GROSZ: Donkey, son, nun, a watermelon, clone.
ADAM FELBER: First guess was the closest.
GROSZ: Donkey was the closest?
GROSZ: I give up, and I - we'll cede to Roxanne.
SAGAL: Roxanne, no, go ahead.
ROBERTS: Is this the meth squirrel?
SAGAL: This is the meth squirrel.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Allegedly - so...
SAGAL: So Mickey Paulk...
FELBER: Like, this guy's going to sue us if we say...
FELBER: ...He really did it.
SAGAL: You know, wait for it.
SAGAL: Mickey Paulk is actually a wanted fugitive - location unknown. But he called The Washington Post...
SAGAL: ...Just to...
FELBER: I want to talk to Roxanne Roberts.
SAGAL: He called The Washington Post just to deny the accusation that he had been giving meth to his pet squirrel...
SAGAL: ...Named Deez Nuts.
SAGAL: He says, quote, "My squirrel is babied beyond anything...
SAGAL: ...Anyone can imagine." He says...
FELBER: I babied Deez Nuts.
SAGAL: He says...
SAGAL: ...He rescued the squirrel as a baby, bottle fed it. Earlier this week, authorities in Alabama raided his apartment - a drug raid - and found what they called, seriously, an attack squirrel...
SAGAL: ...And said that Mr. Paulk, who had fled, clearly had been feeding the squirrel meth to make it aggressive. They put out a warrant for Mr. Paulk. They released the squirrel in the woods. And then...
SAGAL: Oh, yes, they did that. And then Mr. Paulk, who is, again, a wanted fugitive, says he went to the woods to rescue the squirrel.
SAGAL: He says Deez Nuts responded to his voice and came scampering down...
SAGAL: ...Onto his shoulder.
GROSZ: Because it wanted its drugs.
SAGAL: Then he posted a Facebook video of him and the squirrel showing them together. In response - and I need to say I have not yet begun to make anything up...
SAGAL: ...The Limestown (ph) County Sheriff's Office said that may not even be the same squirrel.
SAGAL: How do they know? They all look alike.
GROSZ: Yeah, how are they supposed to know if...
SAGAL: We're not going to take...
GROSZ: ...It's the same squirrel?
SAGAL: ...This guy's word for it that that's his squirrel?
GROSZ: I bet the squirrel ran to the woods and was like, there's this guy that gives you this stuff that makes you feel amazing.
GROSZ: You know, I'm like, we're all really hyper. Do you guys want to be more hyper than we are?
FELBER: What I think we've we flipped over, though, is that there's a point in that story where some dude is wandering through the woods in Alabama yelling Deez Nuts.
FELBER: Deez Nuts. Deez Nuts.
SAGAL: And all the other people in Alabama are going, oh, this again.
FELBER: Has anyone seen Deez Nuts?
(SOUNDBITE OF SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS SONG, "HELL") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.