BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Tom Bodett, Faith Salie and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill knows rhyme wasn't built in a day in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, everybody worries about their food being raised humanely, so one company wants you to know their chickens were given organic food, plenty of room to exercise, and each of them was given a what?
FAITH SALIE: Oh, something like a massage?
SALIE: Something for their well-being.
SAGAL: Something that helps you understand how well they're doing.
SALIE: Like a Fitbit?
SAGAL: A Fitbit.
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PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.
SAGAL: A company in China has developed a high-tech GPS-enabled tracking device that can count a chicken's steps so you know how active it was in its lifetime before you eat it.
SAGAL: It also lets you read the chicken's resume. Oh, I see the chicken got its MFA. Good for her. Apparently, a hundred-thousand chickens have already been outfitted with this technology - tracks its steps, what it eats. The chickens love it. They've never felt more sexy and empowered in their own bodies.
TOM BODETT: Do they share on social media?
SAGAL: Oh, yeah. All the time. They're constantly posting. Some chickens have been cheating, though, and they've been cutting their own heads off so they could run around and get their steps in.
SALIE: So this answers the question, why did the chicken cross the road?
SAGAL: Right. To get more steps.
SALIE: To get its 10,000 steps.
SAGAL: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SALIE: Yeah. Yeah.
SAGAL: Tom, we've had movies based on Transformers and Legos and Barbies. Well, MGM has announced they're developing what toy into a movie?
BODETT: Silly Putty would be a silly movie.
SAGAL: That's true, although I'm sure it's been done. Well, I'll give you a hint. If they do this correctly, in order to see the movie, you'll actually have to hold one up and just press a button for every frame.
BODETT: Oh, my God. The - what was that called? The view-finder.
SAGAL: Nope. You're so close.
BODETT: View-Master - the View-Master, right. Right.
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SAGAL: The View-Master.
SAGAL: You guys remember the View-Master? It's the toy - it's, like, the little thing with eye holes, and you put in the little thing with the pictures, and you look at them in 3D. The plot has yet to be revealed and will probably still not be revealed when the movie is over.
SAGAL: But they're really failing at moviemaking if the script does not include the phrase, ah, today, the view-student has become the View-Master.
SAGAL: They're clearly running out of toys to make movies about. We're really excited for the horror film, "Operation"...
SAGAL: ...In which a bunch of children do surgery to remove all of a man's bones while he's still awake.
POUNDSTONE: I loved that game.
SAGAL: Everybody loved that game.
POUNDSTONE: When I was a kid, I had a big crying fit in a store over that game.
SAGAL: Really? Because you wanted it?
POUNDSTONE: I wanted that game so badly, yeah.
POUNDSTONE: I got - when I did finally get it - not during that tantrum, but Santa Claus brought it to me - and, oh, I enjoyed it. You know, it's not good for a kid with any kind of anxiety disorder, I got to say.
SAGAL: Well, I was thinking about that. You and I are around the same age, and we had so many games when we were growing up - it's all the same principle. Don't let something bad happen.
POUNDSTONE: Right. Yeah.
SAGAL: Pull out a straw without the marbles falling.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
SAGAL: Get out a ball without the buzzer going off.
SAGAL: Do this without...
BODETT: Don't let your mom catch you smoking.
SAGAL: Right, right, right.
SAGAL: So the lesson of our childhood was don't do anything.
SAGAL: You know?
POUNDSTONE: No, we did - yeah. I am - you know, I used to buy for my kids a lot of the games that we had when I was growing up, or the ones that I coveted anyway. And I got for my kids - what's that game? - Perfection...
POUNDSTONE: ...Which is where you put these shapes inside a box, and if you can't get them all in...
SAGAL: It goes (imitating buzzer).
POUNDSTONE: And they all shoot out the ones that you put in.
SAGAL: Yeah. Right.
BODETT: It was weird because if your kids messed it up and the pieces went everywhere, you're supposed to say, dumbass.
BODETT: And they don't do that anymore.
SALIE: No, they don't.
SAGAL: That was actually in the rules.
SAGAL: I remember that. It was in the rules. You have to shout, dumbass.
SALIE: Right, and then spank them, yeah.
SAGAL: And then you had to say, you're not my child. Oh, yeah. That's why I'm...
POUNDSTONE: Oh, my God. That's a great idea for a game - like a bad parenting board game.
POUNDSTONE: And you flip a card...
BODETT: Right. And it's called Dumbass. I think it would fly off the shelves.
POUNDSTONE: That is such a great idea. I never raised you to be like that.
POUNDSTONE: Must've got the wrong kid from the hospital.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, my God. I love this game. There's a corner of the game that's the time-out corner.
POUNDSTONE: And someone can just be in there for the whole game.
SAGAL: Because you forgot about them.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, my God. You can land on The Teacher's Going to Call Your Mother.
SAGAL: And whatever - oh, this is - OK, and whatever your score is, it's not enough.
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