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A Moment With Jeff Tweedy

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We've been talking about Christmas, but you know who probably didn't celebrate Christmas this year? Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy.

BILL KURTIS: We know this because in August, Jeff told us the terrifying story of his recent religious conversion.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)

JEFF TWEEDY: I converted when my youngest son...

SAGAL: Yeah?

TWEEDY: ...Was being bar mitzvahed.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Did you - were you bar mitzvahed together?

TWEEDY: He was bar mitzvahed, and I had a conversion ceremony.

SAGAL: Right.

TWEEDY: And I know what everyone is thinking.

AMY DICKINSON: I know. I didn't want to ask, but...

SAGAL: Yeah.

DICKINSON: Did it hurt?

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: I had the proper style...

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: But apparently, that's not good enough.

SAGAL: Yeah. Really? No. No. Really? Even though you were all set, they had to go back and do it over again. Is that what you're saying?

TWEEDY: They didn't have to do it over again, but they did have to do something. And I was...

DICKINSON: Jeff...

TWEEDY: I was picturing an operating suite.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So they had to do a sort of faux procedure on you - a ritual procedure, as it were?

TWEEDY: They took me into a storage closet at a temple..

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So they bring you into the closet.

TWEEDY: Yeah. Well, this guy with a black leather bag...

SAGAL: Yeah.

TWEEDY: And he asked me on the way to the closet, do you understand what this entails?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And you said...

TWEEDY: And I said, I think so.

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: And so we get in the closet, and he says, take your pants down. And then he - like, I don't know what the NPR word for a [expletive] is. It's, like, I guess phallus.

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: Right?

SAGAL: Yes.

TWEEDY: Is that what you were saying?

SAGAL: That would be the NPR word right there.

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: So he had my phallus in his hand with a...

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: ...Little bit of gauze - or a lot of gauze, actually. It was a large amount of gauze.

SAGAL: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: Yeah, it was almost a whole roll...

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah...

TWEEDY: ...Of gauze.

GOLDTHWAIT: It was...

TWEEDY: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: And so he was - he reached down in his bag, and he got a sharp object...

(LAUGHTER)

TWEEDY: And he looked up at me and he said, my sons are big fans.

SAGAL: (Screaming) Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SAGAL: When we come back, our brand-new interview with late-night host Seth Meyers, and our panelists get quizzed on weird holiday traditions from around the world. That's in a minute on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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