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Panel Questions


Now it's time for some more questions from this week's news. And the panel we're playing with right now is Adam Burke, Negin Farsad and Adam Felber.







SAGAL: All right - you guys haven't had a chance to warm up - you ready to jump right in?

FELBER: Totally.

FARSAD: Let's do it.

SAGAL: Here we go.

FELBER: We've never been on a panel together.

SAGAL: Really?

BURKE: Oh, yeah. That's true.

FELBER: I've never sat down with either of you guys.

FARSAD: Feels weird.

SAGAL: I've never had to...

FARSAD: I don't like it.


SAGAL: I've never had to differentiate between the Adams before.

FELBER: Right.

BURKE: It's got, like, that fresh panel smell.


FELBER: Yeah, it sure does.

SAGAL: Adam Burke, the success of the game Pokemon Go has inspired a number of knockoff versions where players can go around trying to catch things other than Pokemon. This week, what group released their version of a virtual reality hunting game?

BURKE: So things you would go out and hunt?

SAGAL: Well, you know how Pokemon Go works, right?

BURKE: Yeah.

SAGAL: You hold your phone to the...

BURKE: Clearly.

SAGAL: And you see the monsters and catch them.


SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: Isn't that just called LSD?


BURKE: By the way, it's a bacchanal backstage. It's crazy. If you've never been to an NPR party, people are using library cards to cut up lines of Claritin. It's like...


BURKE: There's a wet cardigan competition. It's mad.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: I still have no idea what the answer is.

SAGAL: You still have no idea.

FELBER: But you're stalling eloquently.

SAGAL: You could call it Pope-emon Go.

BURKE: Oh, is it to find saints? Is it the Catholic Church?

SAGAL: No. Well, yes - the Catholic - the big Catholic Church, the Vatican.


SAGAL: They're playing Pokemon Go, their own version. It's just like Pokemon GO without all the false idols. The...


SAGAL: The Vatican has tried to use video games for education and tourism before, like their disastrous version of "Tetris" in which every shape was a cross.


FELBER: Yet...

SAGAL: Hard to play.

FELBER: But is this the kind of thing where they walk around the Vatican, and it's, like, if you turn on your phone and look through it, you can see, like, a bleeding, dying saint or something?

SAGAL: Yeah, yeah - exactly.


SAGAL: You can walk around, and there are, like - you can see holy figures, you know, from church history and the saints. And you can - there are blessings around from the pope. You can...

FELBER: ...Catch them in little balls.

SAGAL: Yeah, no. Yeah - exactly.

FARSAD: So then do you go to heaven if you win?


FARSAD: Like, what do you get?

SAGAL: I don't...

BURKE: You got to catch them all, you know?

FARSAD: Right.

SAGAL: The game is available, of course, on PrayStation...


FELBER: Oh, boy.

SAGAL: ...And Xbox 3:16.



SAGAL: Negin, after a number of complaints, Kleenex has announced it will stop marketing their extra-large tissues as tissues for whom?

FARSAD: Oh, like, people who do cocaine, and they have a lot of, like, run-off from it?


FELBER: Yeah. That's reasonable. Ring that bell.

BURKE: Yeah.


SAGAL: Kleenex presents "Scarface" tissue.



FARSAD: Wait. Can you - OK.

SAGAL: You're going too far. It was perceived that this was sexist to market large-sized tissues in what way?

FARSAD: To women?

SAGAL: Try the other.

FARSAD: To men.



SAGAL: We got you there, Negin. They're called - they were called man-size tissues, which was a problem because...

BURKE: If you're a man like me, you cry a lot.


SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: I think there should be other designations of tissues. You know what I mean? - like, extra, absorbent widow-strength tissue. You know what I mean?

SAGAL: Yeah. No.

BURKE: Just like...


BURKE: It's a real thick...

SAGAL: No, they were called man-size tissues. And they had really - ones for really insecure men - Magnum tissues.


BURKE: Or, like...

FELBER: Those are ribbed.


BURKE: No, no, no. But, like, for real masculine men, for proud boys, it's just an empty box.


BURKE: You cry in your own face, dammit.


BURKE: You open it up. It's just a picture of your dad looking at you disapprovingly.


FARSAD: (Singing) The cat's in the cradle and the silver...

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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