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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our panelists get 60 seconds to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Mo and Paula have 3. Tom has 2.

SAGAL: All right, so Tom, you are indubitably up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Senator Murphy of Connecticut led a 15-hour filibuster calling for stricter blank laws.

TOM BODETT: Gun laws.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Democrats in West Virginia unanimously passed a resolution calling for DNC chair blank to resign.

BODETT: Deborah Wasserman Schultz.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Egyptian authorities found the blank from EgyptAir Flight 804.

BODETT: The wreckage.

SAGAL: Yeah, the black box, we'll say.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Prince William became the first member of the Royal Family to pose for a blank magazine.

BODETT: Oh, it was a gay magazine.

SAGAL: Yeah, an LGBT magazine.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In Colombia, a bill to punish congressman who don't show up to work failed to pass because blank.

BODETT: The congressman didn't show up for work.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a trial began to determine whether Led Zeppelin plagiarized part of their song blank.

BODETT: Oh, shoot. I didn't know about this. I'm going to say "The Lemon Song."

SAGAL: No, "Stairway To Heaven."

BODETT: Oh.

SAGAL: This week, firefighters in Vancouver...

(SOUNDBITE)

SAGAL: ...Canada, were called to the scene of a blaze after a blank caught fire.

BODETT: That is so vague. It was a cat.

SAGAL: No, it was a fire-prevention van.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the emergency crews...

BODETT: Was there a cat?

SAGAL: Was there a cat? No. According to emergency crews on the scene, the van, which was completely engulfed in flames, belonged to Vancouver Fire, a company that bills itself as, quote, "British Columbia's" largest, longest-established fire protection and fire safety company. Best thing - in the photo of the incident beneath all the smoke and fire, you can clearly make out the company's website address on the side of the van, which is - and this is true - vanfire.com.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Pretty good - five right, 10 more points, total of 12. He's in the lead right now.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, we flipped a coin. Mo has elected to go last. So Paula, you are up, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a federal appeals court ruled that blank should be treated as a utility.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I don't know, Verizon?

SAGAL: No, the Internet.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, the Internet.

SAGAL: This week, the NRA said it supported a waiting period for gun sales to people on the blank list.

POUNDSTONE: On the do-not-fly list.

SAGAL: Yes, terrorist watchlist.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On their two-day meeting, members of the Federal Reserve decided to keep blank unchanged.

POUNDSTONE: The interest rate.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the World Health Organization released a report saying that drinking hot drinks may be linked to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Cancer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to SpaceX founder Elon Musk, the company’s latest rocket launch didn’t end in a crash, but in a blank.

POUNDSTONE: Explosion.

SAGAL: No, a, quote, "rapid unscheduled disassembly."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, two separate studies found deadly super bacteria in blank’s Olympic beaches.

POUNDSTONE: Rio.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, "Hamilton" fell one short of tying the record for the most blank award wins.

POUNDSTONE: Tony.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a bike thief in Oregon failed to make a clean getaway...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After he was stopped by blank.

POUNDSTONE: A lasso.

SAGAL: Yes. A man who lassoed him while riding a horse.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Robert Borba was outside of his local Wal-Mart when he had a woman yelling that her bike was being stolen. So he did what any of us would do - he saddled up his horse, rode over to the thief, lassoed him to the ground and did not release him until police arrived. The thief was later convicted and now faces a sentence of six months hard labor driving spikes on the transcontinental railroad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Coming on strong down the stretch - six right, 12 more points, 15 total and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Mo need to win?

KURTIS: Six to tie, seven to win.

SAGAL: All right, Mo, this is for the game. On Tuesday, the FBI revealed that hackers from blank broke into the DNC’s computer system.

MO ROCCA: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, CIA director John Brennan said that, despite U.S. military successes, blank's terror capabilities have not been reduced.

ROCCA: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Supreme Court rejected blank's request to restructure its $70 billion of public debt.

ROCCA: Oh God, who has all that debt?

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Is it a person? No, it's a company. Is it - oh, it's a state.

SAGAL: This is just like the end of "Hamilton," where, like...

BODETT: It might be a territory.

SAGAL: ...The bullet fires and time stops...

ROCCA: Oh, Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Yes. Puerto Rico, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: "Hamilton" gave it away because Lin-Manuel Miranda's Puerto Rican.

SAGAL: Exactly. Attendees of a wedding in Cyprus were given memories to last a lifetime when the officiating priest blanked during the ceremony

ROCCA: He fell - completely fell apart...

SAGAL: No, he...

ROCCA: He disintegrated.

SAGAL: He punched the best man in the face.

ROCCA: OK.

SAGAL: On Sunday, the Pittsburgh Penguins beat the San Jose Sharks to win blank.

ROCCA: Stanley Cup.

SAGAL: Right...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Lord Stanley's Cup. On Thursday, Oprah announced that she was endorsing blank.

ROCCA: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Google officially thanked an 86-year-old British woman after...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...She blanked.

ROCCA: Google thanked an 86-year-old British woman after she did the 10 billionth search.

SAGAL: No, after she was revealed to always say please and thank you in her Google searches.

ROCCA: Oh, I want her to be the voice.

SAGAL: This is what happened. Her grandson goes over to her house and looks at her computer and sees that her - his grandmother, Mary Ashworth, was typing in Google searches with always saying please and thank you because she thought she was actually talking to an employee at Google who was responding to her requests. So please translate these Roman numerals in English, thank you. How many ounces in a cup, please? And please show me pictures of Sam Waterston's junk, thank you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Mo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Came close - five right, 10 more points, 13. But that means Paula's the winner.

POUNDSTONE: Whoa.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations Paula.

POUNDSTONE: Thank you very much.

SAGAL: In just a minute we're going to ask our panelists to predict what Bernie and Hillary will do on their date.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall. Our assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is Lill-Ian Chillag King (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Robin Linn and Miles Doornbos. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is - let me just check in the booth, yes, there he stands - Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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