© 2021 West Virginia Public Broadcasting
Telling West Virginia's Story
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
Available On Air Stations

Panel Round Three

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT… DON'T TELL ME from NPR, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here's your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much. So 2015 was a year of some big changes. One of them took place in one of the fanciest offices in Washington, as we discussed in November.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)

SAGAL: Paula, former House Speaker John Boehner cleaned up the mess of the budget agreement before he left. But he did leave something for new Speaker Paul Ryan to clean up - what?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Graffiti on the walls?

SAGAL: Not quite.

PETER GROSZ: Obama sux - S-U-X.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, was there a smell...

SAGAL: Yes...

POUNDSTONE: ...He left a smell?

SAGAL: ...A terrible smell. The smell of...

POUNDSTONE: Defeat?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We'll give it to you. He had to get rid of John Boehner's smell, which was, of course, caused by John Boehner's smoking habit.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The speaker's office, off the House of Representatives in the Capitol, smells like an enormous ashtray. This is doubly upsetting for Paul Ryan. As you know, he's a health nut, doesn't like smoking and as one of the youngest members of Congress is really more into vaping.

(LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: I think Paul Ryan is being a little bit much. He's being a little...

GROSZ: Fastidious.

DICKINSON: ...Demanding.

SAGAL: Yes, he said he's going to bring one of those ionizer-type air fresheners they have. If that doesn't work, just a bunch of those pine tree-shaped air fresheners.

GROSZ: He is such a classic Rage Against the Machine fan.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

GROSZ: You know, I'm going to bring in an ionizer, like...

SAGAL: Wait a minute...

GROSZ: ...The Venn diagram of Paul Ryan and Rage Against the Machine fans is just Paul Ryan...

SAGAL: So he...

GROSZ: That's it, I guess is what I...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So he is a fan of the anarchist punk band - punkish band...

GROSZ: Yes…

SAGAL: ...Rage Against the Machine.

GROSZ: …Exactly.

SAGAL: Does Rage Against the Machine know this?

GROSZ: They do. I think it became a thing in the 2012 election, when he was the vice presidential candidates. I don't think Ryan went as far as playing their music at rallies and stuff, probably because...

DICKINSON: I heard he's...

GROSZ: ...Mitt Romney's ears would've bled if that happened.

DICKINSON: I think he's forming a quartet there, a Rage Against the Machine quartet there at the...

GROSZ: Oh, I thought you meant, like, a barbershop quartet.

DICKINSON: Yeah, they're going to do those songs in barbershop.

POUNDSTONE: Like Trent Lott used to have?

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah.

DICKINSON: That would be awesome.

POUNDSTONE: That was lovely.

GROSZ: That would be great.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: F you, I won't do what you tell me. (Singing) F you, I won't do what you tell me.

DICKINSON: (Singing) F you, I won't do what you tell me.

POUNDSTONE: (Singing) F you, I won't do what you tell me.

DICKINSON: (Singing) F you...

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: But politics were not the only source of alarming news in 2015.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)

SAGAL: Peter, according to the Internet, the new look for men, the one that women crave is what?

GROSZ: It is heavy, balding and insensitive to their feelings. No.

SAGAL: You're actually almost right.

GROSZ: Is it just heavy?

SAGAL: Yeah, it's - well, sort of looking like what?

GROSZ: Like Jerry Garcia.

SAGAL: Yeah, I'll give you a hint. When that guy takes off his shirt, the only six-pack I want to see is a six-pack of juice boxes.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Juice boxes - looking like a baby?

SAGAL: No. Who often carries around juice boxes?

GROSZ: Children?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Juice delivery men - dad?

SAGAL: Yes, dad.

GROSZ: Looking like a dad?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Looking like a dad, specifically, the dad bod. The dad bod is the best news for men since we found out we get to run everything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to a column by college sophomore, Mackenzie Pearson that went viral this week, everybody was talking about it, the new attractive body type for men is the dad bod. According to her, this is a look that says, quote, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time."

(LAUGHTER)

MIKE BIRBIGLIA: This was written by a college sophomore?

SAGAL: This was written by a 19-year-old woman...

BIRBIGLIA: With issues.

SAGAL: Her theory, which is a great theory...

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I love the way dads look.

BIRBIGLIA: Oh no.

JESSI KLEIN: She's like, the new look that's in that women love is my dad's body.

SAGAL: Well.

KLEIN: What's up, lady?

BIRBIGLIA: Oh, Mackenzie.

SAGAL: Well, she has a number of reasons. The idea is that women she posits do not like the chiseled, you know, muscular, fit look so much as they like the more comfortable dad look.

BIRBIGLIA: I've been saying this for years.

SAGAL: And it's true.

BIRBIGLIA: For years I've been telling women this, and they don't listen.

SAGAL: It's terrible.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I do think the body you described is generally just a man body.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: Like, childless, with child, like someone who works out sometimes.

SAGAL: That's exactly it.

KLEIN: ...And then drinks sounds like pretty much my observation across the board…

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: …Up to this point in my life.

SAGAL: And the message for all those men is you don't have to feel bad 'cause that's what women really like.

KLEIN: I don't know if I'd say really like.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So Jessi, McDonald's is updating the Hamburglar. Now, instead of a cartoonish thief, he's what?

KLEIN: I saw the picture.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: And to me, he looks like an actual criminal - like a hardened criminal.

SAGAL: A hardened criminal.

KLEIN: Like someone you should genuinely be afraid of.

SAGAL: Right. You're not - you're saying he's not so much a burglar as sort of a home invader, is what you're saying.

KLEIN: He looks - it looks like there might be a home invasion.

SAGAL: I understand. No, actually the answer is he's a suburban dad. See, the thing is...

KLEIN: No, no, no. He does not look like a suburban dad.

GROSZ: Wait, that's what it is, suburban dad?

SAGAL: Yeah. The answer is suburban dad. Let me explain. So the Hamburglar has not been seen in a McDonald's commercial for 13 years.

GROSZ: 'Cause he was in jail.

SAGAL: Well, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRBIGLIA: And he's out on DNA evidence now – that's what it is.

SAGAL: No, it turns out....

BIRBIGLIA: The most recent Serial podcast got him out. That's what next season's Serial is going to be.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That would be so funny.

KLEIN: Sarah Koenig.

SAGAL: And next year's Serial will be like, hi, I'm Sarah Koenig. This week on Serial, the Hamburglar. And then you hear robble, robble, robble.

GROSZ: You have a call from the McDonald Land Penitentiary.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: The fact that everybody got that is ridiculous.

KLEIN: You know who has a dad body?

SAGAL: Who?

KLEIN: Grimace.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


WVPB is local news, education, music, and entertainment for West Virginia.
Your donation today will help keep us strong and vital.