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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta on February 25. Also, check out our "How To Do Everything" podcast. This week, the continuing nightmare that is my guest appearance on that show continues.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

ANGELO FU: Hi. This is Angelo from San Francisco.

SAGAL: Hi, Angelo. How are you in San Francisco?

FU: I'm great.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear it. What do you do there?

FU: I am an entrepreneur.

SAGAL: Oh, I should've known.

(LAUGHTER)

NEKO CASE: Weird.

SAGAL: Tell me about your startup, Angelo.

FU: We are delivering food, just like a lot of other startups.

SAGAL: I see. And how does your startup that delivers food compete and stand out against all the other startups that deliver food?

FU: We haven't started delivering yet.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's a really great way to stand out in a crowded market.

LUKE BURBANK: Do you need angel investors?

SAGAL: Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Angelo. Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

FU: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: The dean of our school said Eu-ree-tza (ph). I could end this undeclared seesaw. I will hand out degrees like in anchovies and cheese if I let the kids major in...

FU: Pizza.

SAGAL: Pizza, yes.

KURTIS: It's a yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Britain's Manchester Metropolitan University is offering college students what we believe to be the first-ever pizza major.

BURBANK: Wow.

SAGAL: The pizza B.A. - it puts the bachelor in bachelor's degree. The program comes with 1,500 apprenticeships at Pizza Huts in England. Because if you're going to learn about pizza from anyone...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...You really want it to be a Pizza Huts run by British people.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Yeah.

BURBANK: It is better than the Pizza Hut in Iran that I was reading about, where they have a number of restaurants named after - similar to American chains, but they don't have the rights. The restaurant there is called Pizza Hat.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Hey, I'll meet you down at the Pizza Hat. We'll watch the footballs.

SAGAL: That would be awesome. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: With flights costing more than the Argo's gold, we are glad for this ticket that Air Fargo sold. We're having Aunt Mags watching over our bags. We got her a seat in the...

FU: Cargo hold.

SAGAL: Yes, the cargo hold! Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Have you ever wondered...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...While you're on a plane trip, what has happened to your checked bags, how they're doing? Well, you may soon see for yourself. A patent filed by French aircraft company Zodiac Aerospace show a plane with lower-level seating in the cargo hold. It's super convenient. Kids acting up? Slap a tag on them. Gate-check the ankle-biters.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: There are probably dogs down there in cages. You could let them out, play with them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That - now we're talking.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: Yeah.

BURBANK: I would take anything over the seat preference that NPR had me on up until very recently, which was middle seat.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I kept getting middle seat. I called. I said - can we look into this? And that said we had you down as middle seat as your preference.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really?

BURBANK: I said that should not even be an option on the form.

SAGAL: I'm just thinking about the day that the airline looked down and said somebody has requested middle seats as their preference.

BURBANK: Yeah.

SAGAL: Ring the bell. It happened. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: The award that my president grants goes to honor my human rights stance. Good thing there's a prop at the state's photo op because a loose belt made me drop my...

FU: Pants.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Yes.

(APPLAUSE AND SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Hard to believe, but yes.

SAGAL: Everybody has a version of this nightmare. You're given a lifetime award by your nation's president. You probably stand in front of world leaders and military veterans and the TV cameras, and your pants fall down. But it happened in real life on Tuesday to one Ivan Cicak a Croatian human rights activist and now a fierce advocate for wearing both a belt and suspenders. Unfortunately for Mr. Cicak, a photographer captured the whole thing. It was like the New Year's Eve ball drop in Times Square meets "Magic Mike."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But instead of Channing Tatum as a stripper, it's a middle-aged human rights activist named Ivan Cicak.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Angelo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Angelo was 3-0 again. What a winner, what a winner.

SAGAL: Thank you, Angelo. Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

FU: Thank you, Peter.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PANTS ON THE GROUND")

GENERAL LARRY PLATT: (Singing) Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. Slipping, slubbing with your pants on the ground, slopping, walking with your pants on the ground. Boom, bam, with your pants on the ground. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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