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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on the air call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Atlanta, Ga., on February 25, beautiful Fox Theatre. Also check out our sister podcast, How To Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian torture an innocent, beloved public radio personality who really deserves better given all he has done for them over the years. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

JULIE KINN: Hi, this is Julie Kinn from Olympia, Wash.

SAGAL: Hey, I love Olympia. What do you do there?

KINN: Well, I'm a military psychologist, and I also am a podcaster with my brother.

SAGAL: Really? It's getting to the point where just like everybody in L.A. has a screenplay, everybody everywhere else has a podcast. What's your podcast about?

KINN: Well, it's called The Station Wagon. And we talk about those studies that annoy Paula.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Julie, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Are you ready to play?

KINN: Oh, yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: We're a couple who'd rather not fight. We want marital bliss every night. It helps that I'm tall and she's rather small. What works is a difference in...

KINN: Height.

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Height.

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: You might be into this. It's a study. It has been known that women might prefer taller husbands for evolutionary reasons because tens of thousands of years ago, in the African savanna, it was essential to human survival to be able to change light bulbs. But new research finds the greater the height difference in couples, the happier they are. Think about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. They seem very happy. And it even works with - the other way around with tall women in short men. Think about Tom Cruise and whoever the scientologists have assigned to be his current mate.

(APPLAUSE)

MAZ JOBRANI: This is L.A.

ADAM FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: I just can't say no to more fries. But supersize means bigger thighs. Here is my savvy deal, sell adult happy meals. Trade in some food for a...

KINN: Oh, prize.

SAGAL: Yes, prize.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: You are right.

SAGAL: As you know, we all eat too much here in America. But some food scientists believe that adult happy meals could help people lose weight. To be clear, adult happy meals means happy meals especially for grown-ups, not regular kids happy meals filled with porn. The scientists conducted an experiment where they offered people a full sandwich or half sandwich with a chance to win a $50 gift card, i.e. a toy or a present. More people chose the half sandwich-gift card combo. So it turns out people might eat less if they get a prize, too. But then, of course, they ate the card. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: This Neanderthal tribe is unjust. I don't want to leave, but I must. The new place is bad, but you folks made me mad. And there's nobody here I can...

KINN: Trust.

SAGAL: Right.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Trust. Another big question about human beings. How did ancient humans spread so rapidly around the world while most humans today won't walk across the room to change the channel? A new study suggests that our ancestors just wanted to get away from each other. These early humans - this is the theory - were just beginning to develop emotional relationships with each other. And that means when somebody screwed someone else over, they head to get out of Dodge, right? This is all based on a recently discovered cave painting that translates to I hate you, Oog (ph), you cheating bastard.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Julie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Julie, Julie, Julie, you are so good, so good, 3 and 0. You're a winner.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

KINN: Thank you.

SAGAL: Well done. Thank you so much for playing. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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